I always have fantasy about the past, about all the good old times before I was prisoned in school, whether it was nursery school, primary school, high school, or college. I have abundant fantasies about freedom, up to the rivers, up to mountains, up to the middle of nowhere that no one can find me. When I was little, I was never spending time at home. Every day, after breakfast, I ran away quietly, no one found I was away. At that moment, Mom was always busy for something else, and whenever she found I was absent was when dinner comes. So I just escaped from my home, running into somewhere that I was interested in. The river, where was filled with fresh fishes, shrimps, tadpoles. I usually sat by the river listening and watching the river water running down from upstream. Or sometimes I moved in to the river, feeling the water flushing my feet, my calves, my thighs, my hands, it felt cold and cosy, and I sensed the power of nature that calmed me down. At the moment I was united with nature, with the river, with the water animals down in the river. That was the moment I felt peaceful and calm.
Then there are mountains as well. The mountains have trees, grasses, flowers, butterflies, bees, and some other insects I never came up with the names. The mountains are always dressed with mysteries. I never expected what will show up next, just walking along the way, sensing the wind blowing over my head and body, listening to the sound coming from front and behind, touching the tresses, flowers, grasses guessing what ages they have, what histories they have, and what interests they are in. I had fun circled around by my lovely plants and insects, they are there for me, for the earth. They make me feel the life, life of plants, of insects, and of nature. I do not feel that after I went to school. It is different life, one is life of my fellows, and the other is life of the nature. But I felt calm when I was with life of the nature, they are cute and soft, I felt I was part of them whenever I visited them.
Afterward, it is in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes I was not satisfied with the nature, but I was more into somewhere that I never knew. Hence, I just rode my bike and started the journey. I usually had no idea where I was going to, but followed a way that were less popular among people, no too much cars, no too much pedestrians, just a few doted here and there. And I was one of those, ridding a small bicycle along the way and had no idea at all where I was going to. Sometimes some people might stare at me, sometimes I ran into a dog and was afraid it might bite or chase after me, sometimes I found something interesting along the way and stopped by to peep what was going on, sometimes people were getting married and I saw the fancy cars overtaking me, and I was like WOW! So amazing! Those moments were printed in my mind, and every time when I think of them, I am delighted and feel peaceful and calm.
In the end, I ended up at schools, and now in the office, binding in front of my computer working day by day for the sake of making a living. I stopped running into nature and the middle of nowhere, instead I choose to go to the office, to pay my bills, to buy things that I need, to do things that need money. The purpose of life becomes different from before, and one thing that I always have and will keep having is reading. Reading is the way that I feel nature now, in a cheap and comfy way at home, I sense the beauty of nature from books. And every time when I am opening a book, I sit next to my shelf lamp to enjoy the scenes and stories in the book. At this moment, it clams my nerves and keeps me away from work and anything else. Thank goodness, the shelf lamp comes with 3 shelves and 1 drawer. I can freely place my books to the shelf floor lamp that it it easy to reach to and read at once. Besides, the shelf lamp features 3 color temperatures, 3000K/5000K/4000K that it is easy for me to adjust to the color I want when reading. With the shelf lamp, it calms my nerves and makes me relaxed, just at home.